Imagined Love
by Rosa D'inverno
Summary: It hurts the most when the only thing you can do, is to let go.
1. You, right from the start

Disclaimer: Nope, nothing of _Prince of Tennis_ belongs to me.

A/N: School is CRAZY! I haven't been able to do much writing, but well, I just had to write this one-shot. This one-shot was triggered by a particular event that happened in the past week, so part of it actually happened, but i won't be saying which part, so you all can guess which particular event it is in the story!;)

Thanks: _Terry-May_, thank you once again for helping me with the beta-reading:) I hope you'll get well soon!

* * *

For all sad words of tongue and pen -

The saddest are these,

"It might have been."

_- John Greenleaf Whittier_

--

_There is one more month till the day of graduation. There is just one more month for her to hold on to him. Even if there is just so little she can hold on to, just that little is enough. She just wants him to be happy; she just wants him to remember._

--

The first time she heard him speak was at the start of their second year in Seishun Academy. He was about to make a speech that day in the hall. It was the day of elections for suitable candidates who wished to be nominated for a place in the school's student council. She arrived at the hall just in time for his turn to speak. Unlike others who took ages to deliver their speeches, in the hope of convincing other students to vote for them, he took a bare minimum of less than five minutes to say two sentences.

"I will be a pillar of support for Seigaku. And I will give my all to bring this school to greater heights."

It was nothing spectacular; in fact, for those who didn't know him, it sounded like he was being arrogant and overconfident in his own abilities. The reason why she ended up voting for him was not because of his good looks and the unusual charisma he had (70% of the girls voted for him because of those reasons). Rather, she voted for him because of the look in his eyes. It was a look of determination. The passion in his eyes was what struck her. On the outlook, he appeared to be distant, and a little stiff in his behavior. But when he allowed his gaze to roam around the hall, she happened to catch a glimpse of the emotions in his eyes. It was that strength she saw in those brown eyes of his that made her believe him and his promises.

--

Now, as they approach the end of their third and final year in the school, she finally builds up enough courage to approach him and to talk to him. Sure, the past two years of being schoolmates and later classmates with him have given her many opportunities to talk to him and to work with him. But this time around, it will be different. Earlier in the year, she made up her mind to tell him of the respect she has for him. It is already their last year, and if she does not take the chance now, he will probably never know what she feels for him.

So as she makes her way towards the tennis courts where she knows she will find him, she reminds herself not to expect too much from the meeting with him. She knows that there is a high possibility that he may not have much to say in return to her words, and that she might even end up stumbling over her words and all, but for now, all that remains in her mind is the want to just talk to him.

--

The scene that awaits her at the tennis courts is one that she would never have expected.

--

He is just standing there with a schoolmate of theirs, with a girl called Nakajima Ayumu.

--

'I am not angry, nor jealous.' As she struggles to pin down the feelings in her heart, she realizes the feeling is that of disappointment. For the past two years, she has held on to the belief that he is just the kind of person that does not smile much and does not talk much. And she is okay with it, or rather; she was fine with it, until now. As she sees how comfortable he is in Nakajima-chan's presence, she feels her chest tightening in pain. Perhaps, if there is a sense of envy in her, it is this wish that she can make him smile that soft, gentle smile that he has on his face now. Nakajima-chan seems to be able to do it so effortlessly, like she does not even need to put in extra effort to bring out such a rare side to him, albeit for such a short while.

She feels this pain and disappointment precisely because for the past two years, no matter what she did or said, nothing was able to incite any effect that was even close to what he is displaying on his face now. It is as if the simple reason why he is able to smile so easily and so comfortably is just because she is by his side. It is as if all Nakajima-chan needs to do is just be her own self.

--

She closes her eyes, hoping that by shutting them, she can also block out the overflow of emotions in her heart- feelings that threaten to burst out. 'Why am I hurting this much? I should be happy for them…'

She opens her eyes just in time to see him holding Nakajima-chan gently by the arm and talking to her like he would with people like Oishi-san and Fuji-san. There is this trust in his eyes and this small sense of protectiveness in his actions that she has never seen in him.

As she stands there, she feels a strange sense of detachment. It feels as if she isn't really standing there, that she isn't really witnessing the scene before her, and that somehow, she feels as though she is really a million miles away. She fails to notice how cold it is beginning to get, she is oblivious to the sound of people walking past her, wondering why she is just standing there looking into the distance.

No, they are unable to see what she sees. They are unable to feel what she feels. They do not know what she knows so clearly above all else. Even if it is a truth she fights hard not to believe in, she knows it is real no matter how hard she struggles against it. She is not sure if they are already in a relationship, or rather, she questions if he is even aware of it himself, but the truth is plain as day.

Tezuka Kunimitsu likes that girl.

She wouldn't call it love, no, not yet. But there is no denying the sense of affection Tezuka-san has for Nakajima-chan.

--

She has never known the depth of her feelings for him until now. She has always thought it was just a deep admiration for her peer; her classmate. Perhaps, the feelings might have been a little of affection for him. But no, she never realized the feelings could be a real liking for him. _'Can you lose something you have never had? Can you love someone you do not know?'_

As these thoughts burn in her mind, she takes one last look at the couple ahead of her, and with the same determination she has always seen in those eyes of his, she turns around and walks away from them.

--

She wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, hoping that the strange tightness in her chest will just go away. As one last image of his smile resurfaces in her mind, she knows deep down in her heart that they are both going to graduate from this school, and after that, they are both going to lead their own individual lives.

She knows in due time, this pain in her heart will fade into a dull ache, and with enough time, one day, all that will be left behind will be the memories of loss. She knows they will both be happy, and it is this belief that keeps her walking. It is this assurance that keeps her from breaking down in tears again. They will be happy. They _must_.

But for now, she will continue to smile that smile of hers. She will continue to smile at him, for she knows he does not need to know what she has been through.

The only regret she has is that she missed the chance to tell him, to tell him this simple sentence from her heart, "Thank you".

_Thank you for being the pillar of strength that I needed in my life. Thank you for being the one I could always depend on. Thank you for the times where just a nod of your head was all that mattered. Tezuka-san, I just want to thank you for being you. _

Tezuka Kunimitsu, I just want you to remember.

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As always, reviews are loved!


	2. You, all over again

Disclaimer: Nothing of _Tennis _belongs to me_. _

A/N: This is not quite a sequel, but it fits, _kinda_.

-/-

_It seemed like everything I did, or did not do, every small word spoken or left unsaid, led me back to you. Try as hard as I might, everything reminded me of you. I recognised you in the gruff voice of others, in the stern look in their eyes, in the way the light reflects off the mahogany hair of complete strangers that pass me by. It was you, you, and you all around me._

_And then, I saw you._

**Present day, 2012.**

Glancing past the crowd, I look beyond the worn creases around your eyes, and see that familiar shade of promise, hidden by the tight lines around your lips. You always had the ability to make me smile, in spite of it all. It was foolish I know, for all it takes is one look from you to make me feel like a little girl once more.

"I invited him to come, but I didn't think he would." Hearing his voice right behind me, and feeling his warm touch brought me back to the hall where we stood. Lives apart from each other.

I turned, knowing that I will look upon blue half-closed eyes, instead of the color of wet clay after the rainy season.

"Hmm...It's fine", I muttered. His hand on the side of my face brought a sense of warmth I didn't expect, but remembered. "You alright? You look a little shaken..."

I know I didn't have to explain, for the look in his eyes told me all I needed to know.

Leaning slightly into his arms, I allowed the familiar feeling to wash over me. Closing my eyes briefly, I rested the side of my face softly against his. "I miss him. I missed him, Syuusuke."

-/-

Years after that fateful day in school, I never once saw Tezuka-san again. Heard of him, yes. Read about him, yes. But I never crossed paths with him again.

As predicted, we went our separate ways.

What I didn't see coming, was reuniting with his best friend.

-/-

I brushed off our first meeting for what it was – a chance opportunity.

Entranced by the words on the pages, I stepped out of the bookstore with my book in hand. What I didn't realize was the rain falling in light streams all around. I looked up in surprise when a sudden shadow fell upon the cream-coloured pages of my book. Turning my head slightly to the right, I raised my eyes to meet an all too familiar smile.

Fuji Syuusuke, forever remembered as Seigaku's tensai. He looked exactly the same, just better looking. It must have been the beige trench coat he wore that day.

His hand was still lightly grasping the back of my arm, and the sudden proximity made my heart beat a little faster. Tampering down my feelings, I thanked him for reaching out to shelter me from the rain. He simply smiled that same smile, and asked if I was going anywhere.

"I'm just meeting Tezuka-san at this café round the corner, would you like to join us?"

Barely a year after leaving school, the mere mention of his name still provoked a dull ache within my memories. Noticing the tightening grip on my book, Fuji-san gently released his hold on my arm, and offered to send me to the nearest subway station. On the way there, he didn't mention another word about Tezuka-san.

The last image I had of him was his smile and that wave of his hand, before he turned his back towards me, taking off in a run, and leaving me behind with his yellow umbrella clutched in my hands.

-/-

Somehow, over the years, our paths crossed again.

At a busy café in town, and outside another bookstore. On a bright sunny day, and on another day when cherry blossoms sprinkled pink dust over the city.

At the start, I was wary of our random meetings. Strangely affected simply because of his close connection to that one person I wanted so desperately to forget.

At first it was deliberate, that oh-so-casual way of dropping Tezuka-san's name into the conversation. Looking back, I don't know if Fuji-san ever realized, but I always felt like he was helping me to get over that painful regret of my high school days.

Years after, we met again under the falling autumn leaves. And by then, I was ready to move on. Ready to say yes.

-/-

**Present day, 2012.**

"Tezuka-san, thank you for coming..." As I held his hand in mine, the worn blisters on his palm spoke to me of another time, another place. I imagine the two of us, standing by the tennis courts in school, dressed in our uniforms. Without any distractions, just the two of us, and the sound of tennis balls reverberating off the dry, hard ground. _Thud, thud, thud._

I blinked away the tears, wanting to see him as clearly as possible. _I'm sorry this came so late, but thank you Tezuka-san. Thank you._

_-/-_

_A random day, years after the high school graduation_

Standing in line to collect his cup of coffee, it was the way she moved that first attracted his attention.

He didn't find her familiar straightaway, instead he found himself battling a strange, warm feeling even as his gaze continued to remain on her. It was as if she demanded for him to remember, even as she remained oblivious to his presence next to her.

"Long black to go~"

Without breaking off his gaze, his hand reaches instinctively to take hold of the cup handed out by the barista. He watches as her hand brushes gently against his. Just as their eyes were about to meet, her phone rings.

"Syuusuke? I'll be there in a minute. I just picked up my coffee," the delight in her voice was hard to miss. In that split moment, Tezuka pauses and allows her long, slim fingers to wrap around the takeaway cup. That was when he notices it, that ring on her hand. Glancing back at her, Tezuka finally connects the dots.

He watches, as she starts to move away from his side.

Yuki Rie, that girl from his high school days. That girl whose back he saw for the last time, right by the tennis courts. That girl who always stood by his side, only he realized it too late.

After so many years, even if his eyes failed to recognise her, his heart remembered.

_I've never seen your eyes so bright. And I'll never forget the way you looked that day._


End file.
